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Monday, March 10, 2008

Poem: Raindrops

Filed under: Poetry, Spirit — cody @ 9:11 pm

Raindrops keep fallin on my head
and that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turnin’ red.
Cryin’s not for me cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complanin’ because I’m free… Because in Christ I am free.

Free to accept getting wet from the rain
Free to accept life and walk through its pain
Free to remain in Him and attain in Him the hope
That abides the darkest night, the hope that looks for the light
When there’s none I can see.
I’m free to be me, just me
Free to feel misery and ecstasy with equanimity
And regard those imposters equally.

In Christ I find peace that increases and never ceases

Except when I forget, hedge a bet, or get in a hurry
When the slings and the arrows come at me in a flurry
Like a cold cold rain. And I sink into worry.
I distract and delude myself trying to scurry
Around doing it myself.
Not accepting His help
Completely blind to how I put Him on the shelf.

Not willing to play out the cards I’ve been dealt
I complain. Curse the rain. And feign a campaign of control
Until His Grace smacks me upside the broadside of my soul

Until I set aside my ego and see so it’s better that He go
And steer my ship for a while. Or better yet, forever.
Then I can smile in any kind of weather.
I can welcome the rain. Accept the wet. Accept the death
Required for true life. Accept His Cross.
Welcome the loss.

See, God’s Will will be done whether I want it or not
So Christ, help me want what I already got
Rather than jonesing to get what I want
Reveal to me the blessings I can’t seem to spot
Without a lot
of your Grace.

Please free me from noisy desires that still taunt me
Please free me from nagging temptations that haunt me
Please free me from the conceit that I’m too good
To suffer a little defeat when I know You would
Die for me and rise to be my shelter for eternity.

By walking thru the pain with Him, ultimately I gain with Him. And I can remain with Him.

Where I can be…Free. Nothing’s worrying. Me.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Little Graces

Filed under: Spirit, Web — cody @ 12:06 pm

I got a copy of this story in my email inbox. This story touched me even though I am no martial artist. So much stuff comes in with my email that represents to-dos and unwanted come-ons that it is nice to receive a little pearl now and then.

And then in my search to find examples of the anecdote on the web somewhere, I ran into Pensieve, the blog of what looks to be a kindred spirit. Another little pearl.

This is all that I miss about blogging when I am not into it regularly. My contacts from my previous blogging years have all but dried up. My comments are basicaly only spam. My site traffic comes from chance encounters from online searchers. But I still keep this blog — to exchange Little Graces, like pearls among the stones.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

A Love Supreme for the Supreme

Filed under: Music, Poetry, Spirit — cody @ 2:04 pm

It’s about that time of year. John Coltrane recorded “A Love Supreme” on December 9th, 1964 and left the world one of the greatest musical recordings ever in any genre, any decade.

I’ve been thinking about him for the last couple of weeks ever since we had this prayer session in adoration at Church. We had about 40 guys all in the chapel and the prayer leader had arranged to play some spiritual music for our reflection. Personally, I prefer silence in adoration, but I especially did not jibe with the schmaltzy orchestral religio-kitsch he chose for this 20 minute period.

I began to wonder, “Wouldn’t Jesus like to hear something updated for a change? Something good, something not churchy, something with a beat, perhaps?” There is quality music out there that gives glory to God regardless of whether it is “Christian.” And then I though of Coltrane. Jesus definitely does not get to hear enough of John Coltrane. And what would be a better selection for adoration than “A Love Supreme?”

I’m going to give it try one night. I have the midnight hour tonight by myself. Maybe I’ll bring my own tunes…

Meanwhile, here is the eponymous poem he wrote in his liner notes for “A Love Supreme.”

    A Love Supreme

I will do all I can to be worthy of Thee O Lord.
It all has to do with it.
Thank you God.
Peace.
There is none other.
God is. It is so beautiful.
Thank you God. God is all.
Help us to resolve our fears and weaknesses.
Thank you God.
In You all things are possible.
We know. God made us so.
Keep your eye on God.
God is. He always was. He always will be.
No matter what…it is God.
He is gracious and merciful.
It is most important that I know Thee.
Words, sounds, speech, men, memory, thoughts,
fears and emotions — time all related…
all made from one…all made in one.
Blessed be His name.
Thought waves — heat waves-all vibrations –
all paths lead to God. Thank you God.
His way…it is so lovely…it is gracious.
It is merciful — thank you God.
One though can produce millions of vibrations
and they all go back to God…everything does.
Thank you God.
Have no fear…believe…thank you God.
The universe has many wonders. God is all.
His way…it is so wonderful.
Thoughts–deeds–vibrations, etc.
They all go back to God and He cleanses all.
He is gracious and merciful…thank you God.
Glory to God…God is so alive.
God is.
God loves.
May I be acceptable in Thy sight.
We are all one in His grace.
The fact that we do exist is acknowledgement
of Thee O Lord.
Thank you God.
God will wash away all our tears…
He always has…
He always will.
Seek Him everyday. In all ways seek God everyday.
Let us sing all songs to God.
To whoma all praise is due…praise God.
No road is an easy one, but they all
go back to God.
With all we share God.
It is all with God.
It is all with Thee.
Obey the Lord.
Blessed is He.
We are from one thing…the will of God…
thank you God.
I have seen Godd–I have seen ungodly–
none can be greater–none can compare to God.
Thank you God.
He will remake us…He always has and He
always will.
It is true–blessed be His name–thank you God.
God breathes through us so completely…
so gently we hardly feel it…yet,
it is our everything.
Thank you God.
ELATION–ELEGANCE–EXALTATION–
All from God.
Thank you God. Amen.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Stomp

Filed under: Life, Spirit — cody @ 8:54 am

A roach crawled across my foot in Eucharistic Adoration the other night. Nothing brings you into the present moment like having something you cannot identify suddenly crawl on the bare skin of your flip-flop clad foot. Until that moment it was just me and the Blessed Sacrament in the room, in silence, with me gently negotiating with the distractions that come with contemplative prayer. And a roach ambling towards my foot.

I jumped like the girly man that I am. And othen I said the coarsest word I have ever said in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Let’s just say it is the one word that statistically most often follows the words “What the…” Yeah. Not a good way to impress the Lord of Hosts.

In the heat of the moment I let the roach have the underside of the foot he had been seeking. And then I immediately I felt bad. I’m pretty sure it is not in the spirit of Eucharistic Adoration to kill things, even small things. I sat there for a few minutes watching the little roach twitch and wondered, you know, what would Jesus do and all that. Finish him off? Or let him continue to die a natural death? Being Catholic, I decided on natural death. But I still felt bad.

The poor roach gave his life to crystallize my focus in prayer. Maybe that’s why God sent the roach. Maybe he wanted to get my attention. And maybe he was just looking for some mischief and said, “Hey Peter, wanna see something funny. Watch this…”

Monday, November 19, 2007

I was blind and now I see. Or Both.

Filed under: Church, Spirit — cody @ 5:35 pm

I wrote this as a talk I was supposed to give to a group of men in my parish, a meditation of John Chapter 9, “I was blind and now I see.” I figure since I took the trouble to write it up, I’d post it here, especially since it is a message I need to hear fairly frequently:

As is usual when I am supposed do something like this, I prayed over this theme in Adoration.

God chose to start off by showing me the various ways I am Blind:
· Distraction: Focused on something else (ADD child)
· Overload: “Snow Blindness” Too much going on to focus (overwhelmed – unable to pick which voice to listen to)
· Agenda: Confirmation Bias. We see things as we are, not as they are.
· Persona: Masks, Reputation. Wanting to project a persona distorts the way we interact with the world.(wanting to be intellectual or sophisticated blinds me to the wisdom of simple faith)
· Truth itself – Being “Right” can be an insidious source of Blindness. Have a new hammer and everything looks like a nail…

“Seeing” can be a source of blindness.

Jesus said to the Pharisees: “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin, but now because you claim that you can see, your guilt remains.”

Beware of being right. Usually I find that if I am assured of how right I am about something, it is almost certain I am blind to something important that I am missing. Even if it is compassion and mercy for those who are “wrong.”

I was impressed by the lyrics from Steve’s theme song he wrote for us, something like “If I don’t see you then take my sight away.” Wow. That is some wisdom – if it is not Christ we see then it’s better to be blind than be “right.” Sight can only be restored, as with the young man in our reading, via an encounter with the living Christ. That’s why it’s so important to pray. Without prayer I am, we are, all blind.

I was inspired by the discussion from last week, how “blindness” and “sight” is not an either/or proposition. How we can be both blind and see at one time. How “sight” comes in varying degrees, in different ways. We all have our clear and blind spots. That’s the wisdom form this group.

That to me is some deep wisdom. Two apparent opposites held at the same time in harmony and tension.

Jesus was big on giving us such paradoxes to live with. He was always challenging us to hold two seeming opposites in harmony and tension:

Death/Life (paschal mystery)
Master/Servant
Greatness/Humility
Weakness/Strength

And, in John chapter 9, Sight and blindness. At the same time. In harmony and tension.

I want to say two 50 cent words to you and then I want you to immediately forget them. It is the idea behind them that is important:

Kataphatic and Apophatic

Our Catholic faith has a Kataphatic and an Apophatic tradition. The Kataphatic tradition concerns itself with statements of positive belief. It’s where our Church’s Creeds and Catechism come from. It is the source of Doctrine and Dogma and all Church teaching. Insofar as our faith is “right” about God, that comes from the kataphatic tradition.

The apophatic tradition comes from recognizing the overwhelming incomprehensibility of God. It focuses on what we do not know and cannot know about what God does and who He is. It’s closely aligned with the mystical tradition in the Church. When Jesus told us to be like the little children, when he praised the meek and the poor in spirit, he was coming from the apophatic side of things. Insofar as our Church is humble about the “rightness” of its teaching, that comes from the apophatic tradition.

Okay, you can forget the words now. What’s important is that we hold these two ideas as important, at the same time, in harmony and tension. Be blind and see at the same time.

To have one without the other is dangerous. But we like to flirt with danger by having preferences for one or the other.

Some people prefer the kataphatic tradition, Shorthand for them might be “conservative” Catholics. Stereotypically, they embrace all things dogmatic and are quick to proclaim and defend the teachings of the Church. They attend “Fullness of Truth” conferences, go to hear Scott Hanh speak when he’s in town. They trust the Magisterium of the Church and are a little skeptical of the “watered down” Catholicism of the mystics.

Some prefer the apophatic tradition. Shorthand for them might be “liberal” Catholics. They tend to prefer direct experiences of God over “Churchy” experiences. Some describe themselves as “Spiritual but not Religious”. They read Thomas Merton and go to hear Richard Rohr speak when he’s in town. They like a little eastern spirituality mixed in with their Catholicism. They tend to be wary of the structure and rules of the Church and and seek “contemplation”.

Both are right. Both are wrong.

Insofar as we prefer one tradition and think the other tradition is a little “wonky,” we are blind. If we see these traditions as “sides” in a conflict in the Church, we are blind.

The correct answer is “both” in harmony and tension. If we are naturally drawn to the one “side,” then our faith demands that we come to know the “other side” as well and work to hold them both in our own lives. In harmony and tension.

I would say I have been and am one of those liberal catholics. I came back to the Church as an adult through the mystical tradition. I started seeking spiritually in my twenties through Buddhism and was directed back to my very own faith via the writings of guys like Thomas Merton. My challenge was to learn enough about my faith to overcome my prejudice against “churchy” things and people and embrace my whole faith. I am still working on it. I used to describe myself as spiritual but noit religious. I now realize there can be no such thing if you follow Christ.

My beloved Thomas Merton, the “patron saint” of liberal Catholics everywhere, says this:

“The Dogmas defined and taught by the Church have a very precise, positive meaning which those who have the grace to do so must explore if they would live an integral spiritual life…”
“The understanding of Dogma is the proximate and ordinary way to contemplation.”
“Everyone ought to breathe the clean atmosphere of orthodox tradition and explain his belief in correct terminology.”

“YET true contemplation is not arrived at by an effort of the mind… God gives true theologians a hunger born of humility, which cannot be satisfied with formulas and arguments, and which looks for something closer to God than analogy can bring you.”
“This serene hunger of the spirit penetrates the surface of words and goes beyond the human formulation of mysteries and seeks intellectual solitude and interior poverty, the gift of supernatural apprehension which words cannot signify.”

That is the key idea – the GIFT of apprehension. Everything God reveals to us through scripture and Church tradition is a GIFT from Him. It would be rude of us to downplay it or refuse it. It is incumbent upon us to study it, to teach it when called, to live it.

Yet God also makes available to us GIFTS of contemplation – direct experiences of Himthat go beyond words and ideas. And we would be negligent to not seek God beyond where our positive statements of belief can take us.

Faith involves holding these two things in harmony and tension. Our Church is built upon mystery, important places in our faith where reason will not help us, where we need to have different ways of seeing and knowing. Insofar as we only have one way of seeing, we are blind.

Insofar as we do not develop our knowledge of church teaching, we are blind. Insofar as we do not develop our capacity to encounter God with different ways of seeing, we are blind.

Good thing we have each other to help each other. All of us have our blind spots.

All this stuff about theology and mysticism, belief and experience of God, is, as Thomas Aquinas said “all straw” if it does not lead us to the person of Christ and transform the world in tangible ways.

The words of our theme were spoken by the blind young man when he was badgered repeatedly by the Pharisees about what he thought the origin of his healing. He said to them: “I don’t know, but I do know one thing — I was blind and now I see.”

Hard to argue with results. The blind man had an encounter with Jesus that transformed him. It was hard to argue that Jesus had power – the results were right there for all to see.

And all these beliefs and all this prayer, all this “being right” and having “direct experiences” of God – if it gives us genuine sight – comes down to results.

I dunno, all I know is that I was blind and now I see…

So I leave you with this: We as Christians are supposed to provide the world a real encounter with Jesus Christ. So how is the world different because of our beliefs and our prayer? Are the hungry fed? Are the lonely comforted? Are sinners and enemies loved and forgiven? Can anyone say by encountering us that they were blind but now they see? At least a little bit more?”

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Atheist/Christian Brou-hah-hah

Filed under: Church, Spirit — cody @ 9:54 am

I really try to ignore the fact that, reddit, one of my favorite aggregators on the web has devloved into a community of distinct progressive bias. I tend to be progressive myself, but I like my information sources to be balanced. I don’t mind hearing from the Atheist viewpoint, really I don’t.

But come on. If Christians preached on reddit the way Atheists do, they’d rightfully be run off. I sure wish they’d keep the evangelization of any kind off of my favorite aggregator.

The problem with most Chrsitian/Atheist dialogue is that most atheists have as incomplete an idea of who God is as most Christians do. They argue over the existence of an idea that we expect most Christians to grow out of by adulthood. The “God” they so predictably fight over is a devlopmentally-appropriate version of God for children. We’re supposed to grow deeper in our understanding, but rarely do so.

Personification of God is a convenient shorthand - a way to apply words to something that is way beyond words. A “handle” we use to relate to a transcendant reality. We start with God as a person because we are persons and we relate better that way.

At some point, though, we’re supposed to get beyond the convenient personification of God as “Father in the sky” and experience him in more mature form. God as Love. God as Good(ness). God is not *a* being — God *is* being.

By my faith, God made atheists too and the impulse to love is written on their hearts. Why would we be surprised that a sample of atheists would be more charitable than a sample of Christians? I bet the sampling was not normalized for spiritual maturity.

I know Atheists that are Good. I know Atheists who Love. I know Atheists who are masters of being who they were created to be. So, they don’t say “Lord, Lord” all the time, but by their fruits I can know them. Some of the best Christians I know don’t go to church.

I know “devout” Christians who are stuck in self-centered modes of being. Sometimes I am one of those Christians. The dividing line that matters is not so much belief/non-belief as it should be selflessness/selfishness. If you live a selfless life, then I call you my brother regardless of what you believe.

And if you are selfish, then I can identify with you too. I just wish I didn’t. So much.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Prepare Ye The Way…

Filed under: Poetry, Spirit — cody @ 8:34 am

I know a lot of fancy words.
I tear them from my heart and tongue.
Then I pray.

— Mary Oliver

Poem: Three Dollars Worth of God

Filed under: Poetry, Spirit — cody @ 8:33 am

I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep,
but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk
or a snooze in the sunshine.
I don’t want enough of God to make me love a black man
or pick beets with a migrant.
I want ecstasy, not transformation.
I want warmth of the womb, not a new birth.
I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack.
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.

— Wilbur Rees

Saturday, March 24, 2007

spirit of new tech

Filed under: Spirit — cody @ 7:53 am

I love it when new technology and the freedom to create give voice to prayer. Check out this video from Current TV: My Salvation. Great witness to the Spirit.

New technology has also given me a little tidepool of evil that I must go symbolically wipe out every now and then –> My Comment Spam buffer. Doing so reminds me of the things I don’t want in life, things I do not want to see, things that I thankfully do not want or need

girl eating sperm
master and slave pic
free foot fetish video
pokemon hentai game
Rolex Watches
Free Nokia Ringtones
hydrocodone apap
bingo supplies (?)

They’re like little beckoing voices, like Satan’s own sideshow barkers, wanting me to want them. I think of the people who offer these things, the poor folks who think they must have these things, and pray that they find what they truly need. And as I hit “delete spam” I remember, “There, but for the Grace of God, go I.”

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Least of These

Filed under: Music, Spirit — cody @ 11:48 am

Two homeless guys sing a charming rendition of “Amazing Grace” at Current TV. A heartwarming evocation of humble faith? An ironic commentary on the plight of the homeless? A calculated schmaltz designed to extract dollars from subway riders? Who cares. You’ll see what your current state of faith allows you to see. But the words and the voices and the smiles have power independent of their intent. Enjoy.

And don’t forget Matthew, chapter 25.

Find the Good Place

Filed under: Church, Spirit — cody @ 11:30 am

I am encouraged lately by Ron Rolheiseir’s article from the latest US Catholic called “Knock it Off”. I have been discouraged by how the Church appears to be follwing the rest of society in becoming increasingly polarized between “liberals” and “conservatives.”

Being an Adult Minister of my parish, I have my own leanings, my own preferences, but I am very careful to not let them come out. My job is to represent my Church and help people develop their faith, not lead them down my own path. So I try to stay away from the “partisan” debates about what parts of Jesus’ message we should emphasize and which “sins” are the ones we should crusade against. And when someone brings up this polarization — from either side — I feel a tension between my own natural desire to give my opinion and my need to represent all the Church and not just some points of view.

Until now, I have compromised by always trying to speak for the unrepresented viewpoint. But Rolheiser has given me another thing to say. Forget “liberal” or “conservative”, go deeper. The article is a must read for every Catholic who takes sides as “liberal” or “conservative.”

“So what you’re seeing today inside of the church and inside of society is a fierce and a powerful conservatism. This conservatism actually feeds off an unbalanced liberalism. Excessive liberalism sparks excessive conservatism, then excessive conservatism sparks excessive liberalism, and so on….there has to be a grounding in faith. As Jim Wallis of Sojourners magazine says, ‘Don’t be a liberal, don’t be a conservative, be a man or woman of faith. Don’t turn right, don’t turn left, go deeper.’ It’s simple but it’s true: Don’t act liberally or conservatively, just act out of faith, and that will take you where you should be. “

Everyone should read this article, especially the advice for both Liberals or Conservatives at the very bottom.

I can see that the parts of Christianity I disagree with come from a good place, a good basic idea, however tortured and distorted by polarizing agendas they may be. My job when I am confronted with stuff I disagree with is to find that good place it came from and embrace it. Find the good place. Go Deeper into Faith.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Forget Hating the Sin, Just Love the Sinner

Filed under: Spirit — cody @ 8:19 am

“Those in union with God, when aware of the sins of others, live in this gentle light. . . Therefore they are always peaceful and calm, and nothing can scandalize them because they have done away with what causes them to take scandal, their self-will. . . Even when they see something that is clearly sinful, they do not pass judgment, but rather feel a holy and genuine compassion, praying for the sinner.”
- St. Catherine of Siena

Righteous anger and moral outrage are often mistaken to be Christian virtues. “Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner,” right? I prefer, “there, but for the grace of God, go I.” When I feel righteous anger welling up within me, may I always remember that it is a call to prayer, not a call to action.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas Morning Quiet

Filed under: Spirit — cody @ 9:37 am

“Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” — Luke 2:19

Merry Christmas. It is the quiet before the storm in the Clark household. I am spending a few moments with the Word before the impending paroxysm of bows and tissue paper. Santa did his thing and soon the kids will wake up and find the loot. But right now, the Christ Child is doing his thing in my heart too.

In my lectio this morning, I realized that at this point in the story the baby Jesus brought a lot of questions. The only ones who were sure who the new child called Jesus is are the angels. Mary herself didn’t fully know. She had to think about it for a while. She kept all these things she heard from the shepherds about angels and kings and saviors in her heart.

Sometimes I just have to think about it for a while myself and ponder just what sort of child is this I am holding in my heart. And walk in faith that somehow this child is the messiah, my salvation, my Lord. How He is the Word made Flesh and how I am a Word spoken by God in my own flesh. And how all this relates to the fact that I must go start making coffee and brunch for about 23 people in ten minutes.

So I’m with Mary. I’m never quite sure what I’ve got here, but I will certainly hold it dear in my heart as I go forward into this day of family and celebration. May you and yours hold God’s Peace and Joy in your hearts as well.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

What are you waiting for?

Filed under: Spirit — cody @ 7:56 am

“The waiting is the hardest part” — Tom Petty

I’ll spare everyone my usual bah-humbag rant about Christmas claim-jumping and how Advent gets a short shrift every year. I’ll just sing the praises of Advent itself.

Advent is about waiting. Patiently, expectantly, even joyfully — Waiting.

We wait for Christmas. I am reluctant to hang the Christmas lights until it gets closer to Christmas. I like the wait. The wait makes the holiday all that more joyful. I don’t want to spoil the anticipation.

Something about waiting that is good spiritual practice. Sitting in the tension between what is and what you want to be. Resting with the tinge of uncertainty and trepidation. Being awake and watchful. Doing your part in preparation. Accepting the now in the face of something better to come. Embracing the paradox of accepting Now while working to bring about a Future.

We wait for the Kingdom of God to come to its fullness in the world. I somehow doubt that the Second Coming will happen all at once, timeline style. God does not seem to me to be limited in such a linear fashion. From our perspective, it comes in bits here and there, in trickles and floods. Some of it is already here and has been for as long as I can remember. Some we can appreciate now. Some we can watch unfold as it happens. And for most of it, we wait.

And here’s a question: is there someone you know of out there waiting for Christ to come into their lives? Someone who is waiting for a word, a touch, a help, a hand, a kiss? Can you be Christ to that person? Are they waiting for you?

What are you waiting for? What am I waiting for?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Fooling Myself

Filed under: Spirit — cody @ 1:26 pm

“One of the elders said: Either fly as far as you can from men, or else, laughing at the world and the men who are in it, make yourself a fool in many things.” — from Wisdom of the Desert by Thomas Merton

This passage struck me from this morning’s prayer. How much energy do I put into not being a fool? To what extent do I long to have it all together, to be competent, to be successful, to stay on top of it all?

And how often does God say to me, smiling, in prayer, “So, how’s that working for you?” When I make plans, God laughs.

Okay, so I need to lighten up. My worries, my tendency lately to be dour and overly serious, my preoccupation with my own limitations, are all refusals to accept God’s grace and go it on my own.

“So, how’s that working for you?

Either way, I end up a fool. So I might as well get a hearty laugh at myself and the game even as I play it.

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