Overflow

Reflect that the most delicate flower loses its fragrance and
withers fastest; therefore guard yourself against seeking to walk in
a spirit of delight, for you will not be constant. Choose rather for
yourself a robust spirit, detached from everything, and you will
discover abundant peace and sweetness, for delicious and durable
fruit is gathered in a cold and dry climate.

– Saint John of the Cross.

This is my prayer recently. Not to seek out discomfort, but not to avoid it either. And what’s more to appreciate unpleasantness for the gift that it is. Yes, it’s a tall order.

I have a senior co-worker who likes to bust my chops at work. I think he sees himself as a mentor of sorts, trying to call me on my weaknesses so I’ll improve. But he does it in front of others, pointedly, when I am supposed to be the leader of the meeting. And it is very uncomfortable for me.

My instinctive reaction in the face of confrontation is to withdraw, lick my wounds, draw out the symapthy of others. Adopt an “I’ll take my ball and go home” attitude. In fact, I could have used the above wisdom from St. John yesterday as I struggled to stay engaged and lead the meeting after yet another little potshot from my ersatz “mentor.”

Funny. Maybe he’s an effective mentor after all. Just not exactly in the way he thinks.