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Tuesday, December 31, 2002

New Year

Filed under: Life — cody @ 5:12 am

Last Day of 2002. It’s been a good one. Now, on to the New Year. We actually set and met most of our goals for the year here in the Clark Household. Time to reflect and pray on new goals, to revisit our vision, and to keep moving forward.

We are getting ready to have a party tonight. Just a game night with a few dozen friends. No alcohol, kids invited — so it’s not the typical New Year’s Eve party setup. But it’s the kind of gathering we are known for. You don’t have to blow a bunch of bucks on babysitting for a night out at the Clarks. Unless you want to, that is. I can totally understand the desire for Child-Free Time. We had an emergency infusion of that ourselves last night with a hastily-called InstaDate.

And, on a relective note. Overflow is coming up on its third birthday. I’ve been blogging/journaling for three years. And I still don’t know what it’s supposed to be. I started out as a Christian-y journal. Then I discovered blogging, which was so, like, the cool new thing. And then I got kind of Futures wonky for a while. Then I came back and got all Christian-y and ended up the year contemplating my metaphorical navel. Overflow still doesn’t know what it wants to be when it grows up. But hey, it’s only three years old.

A while back, I banished all the Futures Geek talk to another blog, but I think I might bring it back, knitting all the halves of my online personality back together. I have a major online futures project starting this year so I need to consolidate and simplify. Yeah, this is gonna make Overflow seem kinda schizophrenic, but that’s more the real me.

Anyway, have a Happy New Year and stay safe tonight.

Friday, December 27, 2002

It’s Still Christmas.

Filed under: Life — cody @ 5:50 am

We’ve unwrapped all the presents. We ate the big dinner. All of the out of town guests have returned home. Now I feel like I can truly relax and celebrate Christmas, what with all of the stressful Giftmas details taken care of.

The only remaining gifts I have to give are the ones I wanted to make for people. I still have some of that to do. But those were the ones I didn’t want to be Giftmas presents anyway. Still have a large backyard fort/swingset to finish assembling. We have some gifts to return. We have some Christmas money to spend. (And I simply must get a DVD now that I have this new DVD player I got for Christmas from my wife.)

But we still have a Christmas party to throw and one to attend, so we’re still celebrating. And today is the anniversary of Mr. Freshpants’ adoption, so his arrival in our family will always be a part of our extended Christmas celebration. Petunia’s birthday is coming up on the 6th, so we’ll always end our Christmas celebration with her birthday around Epiphany. We’ve got some built-in ways to celebrate and we’re always finding more.

So, lessee, today is the third day of Christmas, which means we should go to La Madeline and have the roasted chicken. Three French Hens, get it? Oh and last night we went and saw “Bring In The Noise, Bring In The Funk” and skipped ahead on the Ladies Dancing, Lords a Leaping, and Drummers Drumming. Incredible Leaping, Dancing, and Drumming it was, too.

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Starting Today

Filed under: Life — cody @ 10:13 pm


“Stay with us now, O Lord of the earth,
Make of our hearts a place for Thy birth.
Tho’ our cares be great or small,
Jesus the Lord be born in us all.”

So our hearts are the manger, a meager and rude place for the king to be born. But all he asks is a small space there, in our hearts, to be born. Each and every day. Born anew in us.

Starting Today. Have a Very Merry Christmas today. Have a Very Merry Christmas tomorrow. And the next day. And the next…

Monday, December 23, 2002

Stinkin’ in Target

Filed under: Life — cody @ 7:43 am

So I woke up Saturday morning and thought to myself , “Hey, I’ll take the first kid that wakes up and go hit the stores early and avoid the crowds.” (You gotta take at least one child with you anywhere, that’s the rule. Divide and conquer, you know.) And I had just woken up so I threw on the clothes lying on the floor closest to my bed that had at least a 60% chance of matching. No shower, toothbrush, or comb touched me that morning. I even forgot to grab a cover-up hat.

Hey, who was going to see me? This was a lightning trip. This was Surgical Strike Shopping. In and out. No social interaction planned.

And then she flagged me down. My old High School friend and, surprise!, with her was the girl I took to the prom in my Senior year. She was looking good — pretty, smart, and successful. I was really glad to see her. Really. But…

Well, some forms of embarrassment are so intense that mere prose does not do it justice. So here’s my account in song:

Shopping in Target

(to the tune of “Walking in Memphis”
with apologies to Marc Cohn)

Put on my Dirty Shorts
Put Petunia in my car
Went out in the van with my grungy self
I wasn’t going very far
Thought I’d go to Target for a tiny shopping spree
Hopin’ no one I knew would see me
‘Cause I was as grungy as a boy can be

Then I’m Shopping in Target
Pushing the cart with the wobbly wheels
Shopping in Target
And everyone can hear my baby squeal

Saw a friend from High School
I hadn’t seen in years
She came right up to me in Target
Then I realized my fears
I had on sweatshirt, shorts, and sandals
My pits and breath were rank
She was smiling, looking happy
I was looking crappy
And I reaaaaly stank

Chorus:
I’ve got coffee on my tshirt
I’ve got rat’s nests in my hair
It’s not that I’m not glad to see you
But I hoped no one would see me there
And she saw me there in Target

Now we talked and laughed a while
And the catching up was good
And I tried to keep my distance
But she asked me if she could–
Say goodbye and hug me
But I stank in an awful way
And she thought–
“Tell me, are you a white trash child?”
And I thought “Ma’am I am today”

Chorus:
Put on my dirty shorts
Put Petunia in my car
Went out in the van with my grungy self
I wasn’t going very far
Went out in the van with my grungy self
I wasn’t going very far

So I chalk it all up to preparing for Christmas. I mean, doesn’t being embarrassed to your very core go toward mortification of the flesh? Suppression of the ego? Dying to self? Lots of room for the Spirit now, boy!

Saturday, December 21, 2002

In the Stretch…

Filed under: Life — cody @ 4:40 am

Wrapping up my Giftmas shopping this weekend. Gonna take the first baby that wakes up with me to the stores reeeal early to avoid crowds and punch those last gifties out.

Yep, Hanna of H-Town Bloggers was my Secret Santa buddy. It was fun, Hope you enjoy the gifts. Still haven’t heard from my Secret Santa yet.

Y’all shop fiercely and keep safe out there, y’hear?

we’re everything brighter than even the sun

Filed under: Poetry — cody @ 4:34 am

A Cheerful Poem by E.E. Cummings. I swear this is the last one. I just wanted to end on one of his brighter notes.

if everything happens that can’t be done
(and anything’s righter
than books
could plan)
the stupidest teacher will almost guess
(with a run
skip
around we go yes)

there’s nothing as something as one
one hasn’t a why or because or although
(and buds know better
than books
don’t grow)
one’s anything old being everything new
(with a what
which
around we go who)
one’s everyanything so

so world is a leaf is a tree is a bough
(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)
so here is away and so your is a my
(with a down
up
around again fly)
forever was never till now

now i love you and you love me
(and books are shutter
than books
can be)
and deep in the high that does nothing but fall
(with a shout
each
around we go all)
there’s somebody calling who’s we

we’re everything brighter than even the sun
(we’re everything greater
than books
might mean)
we’re everyanything more than believe
(with a spin
leap
alive we’re alive)
we’re wonderful one times one

What he said…

Filed under: Life — cody @ 4:30 am

So after my ramble on the Incarnation below, I get this quote in my Daily Spiritual Seed:

“The Word was in people for this purpose, that it might divinize them
. . . The Word had to become human in Jesus for this reason, that
people both in spirit and in the flesh, from within and without,
behind and before, and in all places might have testimony (of this
goal of divinization).”
    - Hans Denck -

Yeah, what he said.

Friday, December 20, 2002

Giftmas

Filed under: Life — cody @ 1:33 pm

I am by far not the only person to use the term “Giftmas” to refer to the secular Christmas holiday. And here I thought I made the term up. Nope, I’m just one of a legion of curmudgeons, ranters, and miscellaneous Scrooges to use the term. I wonder if anyone’s copyrighted it yet?

Christmas at Ground Zero

Filed under: Life — cody @ 12:12 pm

More blog mode to dilute the ponderous philosophical ramblings I’ve been heavy on lately:

Here’s and old page that makes an oddly interesting Cultural Studies paper juxtaposing popular images of Christmas with nuclear apocalyptic angst. (I said it was odd, didn’t I?) Especially interesting is the dual interpretation of Keith Haring’s Radiant Baby icon.

John Cage Christmas

Filed under: Life — cody @ 11:57 am

In blog mode: A Christmas poem by John Cage appropos of the last full shopping weekend before the Big Day.

Christmas Meditiation: That Art Thou

Filed under: Life — cody @ 7:25 am

More E.E. Cummings, sorry…

no man,if men are gods;but if gods must
be men,the sometimes only man is this
(most common,for each anguish is his grief;
and,for his joy is more than joy,most rare)

a fiend,if fiends speak truth;if angels burn

by their own generous completely light,
an angel;or(as various worlds he’ll spurn
rather than fail immeasurable fate)
coward,clown,traitor,idiot,dreamer,beast–

such was a poet and shall be and is

–who’ll solve the depths of horror to defend
a sunbeam’s architecture with his life;
and carve immortal jungles of despair
to hold a mountain’s heartbeat in his hand

“That Art Thou.” The Incarnation. God who became Man. Who came to show us the way to be God.

Our destiny is the Incarnation. We are to be God. Jesus, the Christ, showed us the way.

The way “Up” is “Down.” We must be humbled to be exalted. We must sacrifice the (little s) self to assume our place in the (big S) Self. And not just when we die, but right now.

This is the white hot light at the center of our souls. It is beautiful and terrible and frightening. So frightening we refuse to look at it. Refuse to see.

Our scriptures hint at it, we sing hymns around it, we can hardly whisper it to ourselves. We dare not think it directly.

Because this truth is so incomprehensibly immense it overwhelms. This is ultimately why they killed Jesus, out of fear. He died for this Truth.

The idea of Emmanuel, God With Us, is fine with us as long as it’s God coming to be with us, be one of us. But don’t ask us to go be with Him, to be One in Him.

Because that Way is hard. Because that Truth is frightening. Because that Light is blinding.

life is more true than reason will deceive
(more secret or than madness did reveal)
deeper is life than lose;higher than have
–but beauty is more each than living’s all

multiplied by infinity sans if
the mightest meditations of mankind
cancelled are by one merely opening leaf
(beyond whose nearness there is no beyond)

or does some littler bird than eyes can learn
look up to silence and completely sing?
futures are obselete;pasts are unborn
(here less than nothing’s more than everything)

death,as men call him,ends what they call men
–but beauty is more now than dying’s when

God became Man so that Man could become God and be one with Him. All you have to do is forget your very (little s) self.

And Die.

So, hey, Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 19, 2002

Another Christmas Story

Filed under: Life — cody @ 10:10 am

If you’ve not experienced John Henry Faulk’s touching Christmas Story, you simply must. You can listen to it here. NPR’s Weekend Edition Sunday runs it every year as a tradition. I’ve heard it a bunch of times and I cry every time. I’m an old softy, I guess.

bonds

Filed under: Life — cody @ 8:28 am

(a poem I wrote a while back that, for some reason, seemed tangentially related to the mind-ramble I posted below.)

some men of science say that most
of our universe is empty space, host
to the bonds between tiny particles, parts
of tiny affinities which give form
to these papers, this table, our hearts.

if tiny attractions are what give us life,
if dizzying clouds of quanta give rise
to mountains, then couldn’t I surmise
that connections are what suffuse and adhere
all things to each other? does it appear
that all basic matter struggles to endear
some other matter to itself in fear
of being hopelessly adrift, its pupose unclear?

call this union of bonds what you will;
i’ll call it God. and if His plan is fulfilled
in the chaos of a zillion strange attractions,
you and i are like quarks with paths and reactions
of separate flavors but with an intrinsic connection
that takes its own place in the complex direction
that the Creator, the Great Initiator, has set into action.
in His breathless web of life, like a particle
my soul finds an orbit, an elemental article
attracted to yours. and our bond claims its rightful place
in His daunting design with purpose and grace.

Emergency

Filed under: Life — cody @ 8:01 am

More from Cummings’ six nonlectures:

“Little by little and bruise by teacup, my doubly disillusioned spirit made an awesome discovery…that all groups, gangs, and collectives — no matter how apparently disparate — are fundamentally alike; and that what makes the world go ’round is not the trivial differences between them but the immeasurable difference between any of them and individuality.

Better Worlds are born, not made, and their birthdays are the birthdays of individuals. Let us pray always for individuals; never for worlds.”

Then he quotes William Blake, “He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars. General Good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, and flatterer.”

He concludes his thought with, “for that deeply terrible line (of distinction) spells the doom of all unworlds; whatever their slogans and their strategies, whoever their heroes or their villians.”

So from what I have gathered about Cummings so far, besides an apparent fondness for semicolons, is a world view that sees the Individual and the Group in fundamental opposition. He regards Individuality as the necessary and sufficient condition for Good. Conformity to groups, in the end, can only bring harm.

Here’s where I have the temerity to disagree with my poetic hero. Cummings, in my humble opinion, is half right.

Individuality is a neccessary, but not sufficient, condition for Good. The Greater Good is something I believe in, but my conception and the one that I think Blake and, through him, Cummings rail against are different.

The Greater Good is not an Imposed Good which stifles autonomy and requires individuals to march in lock-step but and Emergent Good which is driven by individual, autonomous actors motivated by a common vision.

Emergence is, as far as I can see, God’s modus operandi for generating Good in the world today. I can see it everywhere, from studies in chaotic and complex systems, advances in genetic algorithms and cellular automata, genetics, stem cells, and nanotechnology, complex social models like Chaords, to the resurgently popular cosmic eschatology of Teilhard De Chardin. Our human technology is at the dawn of the age where we will leverage nature’s (read: God’s) model of Getting Things Done — independent actors generating emergent behaviors and patterns — in our own technology. We have reached the edge of the modernist model of deterministic, mechanistic control and are dipping our toes in Emergence.

But for Emergence to work, it needs Cummings’ independent individuals, but with a common “vision”, and a set of rules and boundary conditions which direct interaction. Automata are not just mindless lock-step drones nor are they heedless self-seeking actors, they react to their environment and other individuals around them with their eyes on an established goal or vision and within a set of boundary conditions or constraints. All elements — individuality, autonomy, common vision, and constraints — are neccessary for a General Good. Let any one of them get out of hand at the expense of the others and that can’t be Good.

And in my book, the General Good is none other than the Kingdom of God. The Body of Christ is none other than an Emergent Good. And we are the autonomous actors that, with Jesus as a vision and God’s Law as a constraint, will (continue to) make it happen.

But of course, this Theory of Everything is just my humble opinion.

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

How Bill Murray is Like E. E. Cummings

Filed under: Life — cody @ 8:33 am

I was reading more from E.E. Cummings’ six nonlectures and he was briefly recounting his experiences in a French Concentration camp during World War I. Apparently he was thrown in there after writing a letter home about how the Germans were not such bad people after all. (John Poindexter would be proud.)

This was apparently while he was serving as a volunteer ambluance driver near the front lines. And then I was reminded about my favorite movie, 1984’s The Razor’s Edge, and my favorite guilty-pleasure film comedian Bill Murray. I gained a lot of respect for Murray, who agreed to act in Ghostbusters on the condition that they finance this remake that he co-wrote the screenplay for. If this story meant that much to him, it must be at least in some part about who he is.

Anyway, his character, Larry Darrel, does a stint as an ambulance driver in World War I and the trauma from his experiences send him off on a quest to find himself and the meaning of life. Darrel’s experiences roughly (very) resemble those of Hesse’s Siddhartha. And it has my favorite movie line ever, spoken by Murray’s Darrel upon leaving a Tibetan Buddhist monastery where he had been meditating, seeking meaning. He said “Anyone can be a holy man on a mountain.” which is, like, my rallying cry for my own homespun elbows-deep-in-the-world personal spiritual philosophy for years now.

But I digress. Why is Murray’s Darrel (and therefore Murray himself) like Cummings? Well the ambulance driver connection caught my attention, but ulitmately, it’s the smirk.

The Bill Murray Smirk. Doesn’t matter what the boy acts in, or how serious he tries to be, he cannot get rid of that trademark goofy-smarmy-deadpan smirk of his. It suggests that, no matter how earnest he is, he has a bit of distance, a bemused perspective on life that will not let go of the little knowing smile. He looks like he gets the joke, even though there may not be one.

That’s exactly the feeling I get about E.E. Cummings when I read his poetry. He gets Spiritual, he gets angry, he gets romantic, horny even, but he always retains a playful, bemused, almost childlike persepctive. That’s something I’d like to have, be it from Murray or from Cummings.

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