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Sunday, June 17, 2001

Filed under: Life — cody @ 5:28 am

Hey Dad. Hey Mom. Here’s my web-log-slash-online-diary. I write in this whenever I get the urge. Whenever I want to get something down in writing before I forget it. Whenever I have too much on the brain. It’s a public site, but a private space. Only a few know that this is here.

Mom always wants to know what I’ve been thinking and reading and studying about. Well, this is where I can put such stuff and you guys can read it. I can fix this so that you can put stuff here if you want to as well. But I figured this (read the entry below, please) is a substitute for a Father’s Day card.

This is a place where you can find me. In fact, this is a place I can find myself. If I know you’re reading regularly, I’ll be motivated to write here more.

Well anyway, happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you.

look around, make yourself at home. I threw away all of the old pizza boxes, but there’s lots of outdated stuff and everything’s a bit dusty. Still, it’s homey to me.

Filed under: Life — cody @ 5:11 am

It’s father’s day. I wanted to make this list for mother’s day, but the Blogger Gods were sleeping (the server was down) so I figure I’d save it for Father’s Day. No matter, it applies to both occasions.

Anyway, I have a problem with claims a lot of people have around Fathers’ Day that such and such a father is the “world’s greatest father.” Same with the similar sayings around Mothers’ Day. I mean, everyone’s sample population is different and wholly inadequate to substantiate such a claim. I figure any such claims are an admirable, but irrational, sentiment. Good thing my Dad is not exactly the type to wear a “World’s Best Father” t-shirt anyway.

I can say that I often think about how my generally happy place in life is a direct result of my parents and their efforts. Both in who they are and what they did right in my life. I can’t claim they are the “World’s Best” in anything, but the fact that they were damned fine parents is a claim that I can verify with evidence.

Things my parents did right:

1) They stayed together. This is no simple thing to do, being married for 37 years. And by doing it, they automatically put themselves into the top 50 percent of all parents. Yes I consider married parents generally “better” than divorced parents. I can cite studies if pressed to do so.

2) Dad went for the “family track.” My dad is a smart guy. He’s done well for himself, but he coulda been a contender. He was there with us instead of putting in the face time at work that gets you on the fast track in career land. It was nice to have him around. It was nice to feel like you were worth being around

3) Dad was soccer coach and assistant scout master. Mom was den mother and room mother. They got involved in our activities. Dad was in Indian Guides with me. Mom crocheted enless lampshades and afghans in the stands at my football games. Having done a stint as a soccer coach and as a girl scout leader, I know what a sacrifice this kind of stuff is.

4) They exposed me to lots of different interests, sports, and activities. I sucked royally at most of them, but a few stuck. They wanted me to have interests, and to have a “crowd” to hang with that I had something in common with other than boredom. This was a very smart parenting thing and something I’m very grateful for now. I learned the value of being involved and having interests from them.

5) They really emphasized school with me. Grades were a big deal and they expected a lot from me. Not only that, they both went to school and got degrees, and then went back for more education. They were examples of the idea, which I’ve taken to heart, that you never stop learning.

6) We had fun. We played lots of games. We played Parcheesi on a regular basis. My Dad didn’t complain about always being yellow. I certainly would have complained about always being yellow, so this seemed remarkable to me at the time. We played battling tops and I remember how fun that was. They tried to teach me bridge, which tapped dad’s patience and rightly so. Essentially, they taught me how to have fun with my brain, about how to be a gracious loser and winner, and that just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they won’t land on your last game piece and send you back to home.

7) They were nice to my friends. My friends were always telling me I had the cool parents.

8) They got me through my first holy communion in church, despite not being all that committed to the church themselves at the time. But, hey, they planted a seed and gave me a knowledge base to draw from when I needed it later. God does work in his own time.

9) They did this curfew thing. I essentially didn’t have one. But all my friends did, so I was home by midnight anyway without my parents having to force me to do so. This is part of the reason why they were the coolest parents of all my friends. I guess as a parenting technique this would only work if your kid hung with the right crowd, but they did a lot to influence that as well.

10) We took family vacations. The kind in the station wagon going cross country packing a tent, the matress off of my parents’ bed, and enough food for an army. I remember staring at the gas needle willing it to go down so we could stop and perhaps, if we worked it right, get a soda at the gas station. Those kinds of vacations are a lot of work for parents, but they created a lot of fond memories for me.

11) Around the year I was supposed to start going to junior high school — the start of my formative teen years — they moved us all to the other side of the school district just so us kids could go to the better high school and junior high. This was big for me. I fit in a lot better at Clear Lake than I would have at Clear Creek. My parents saved me endless hours of teen anguish and probably a few ass-kickings (as I was, brace yourself, a bit of a geek as a teen. No, really.). I guess there might have been other benefits of moving less than ten miles away, but that was the biggest one for me.

I’ll stop there, but I could go on. Sometimes I get the feeling that my parents don’t think they were all that remarkable as parents, but to me they were damned fine parents, and I owe a lot of my quality of life today to stuff they did when I was growing up. Happy Father’s Day, dad. I love you and Mom a bunch.

Filed under: Life — cody @ 5:05 am

My weird God poetry. I read this at Diedrich’s and this lady asked for a copy. I gave her the one on hand cause I have it electronically. She saw me the next week and said she loved the poem, she read it to her therapist, and she “just stops and reads it every once and awhile” cause it makes her feel good. Now I find this kind of odd, but isn’t that what you read poetry for? To have your words mean something to somebody else? Isn’t that why we do these silly vanity pages/weblogs?

Well, God be praised, this one worked:

Thwack
——

I’m here to tell you that God does not exist.
I can say that with certainty because she told me.

I was sitting and breathing
a mantra of grace,
wrapped in silence,
Candle dancing,
incense curling upward.

I was thinking about how holy this moment was when,

THWACK!

God whacked me on the forehead and said:
“Please. This moment is no holier than any other.
No more holy than when you
brush your teeth
or pee
or change your oil.
The candle and incense
are a nice touch, though.
Is that patchouli I smell?”

She must have read my furrowed brow. Her tone softened:

“Look,” she said, “I appreciate all your efforts, really I do,
but you believers with your words and your truth and your
proofs of my existence are missing the point.
Concepts like “truth” and “proof” and “existence”
appeal to you only because your brains are so tiny.
You can’t hold my whole reality in your head at one time
and that frustrates you.
So you divide reality into little boxes
and label them with your words
and move them around
and fight over them
and try to organize them
in a way that makes you
*think* you can understand me.
Well, stop it! You can’t understand me!
Wake up and smell the patchouli!”

“Look, I don’t ‘exist’, but I am *real*.
And the best way to see that is to
drop all these boxes you cling to
and spill them out.
Instead of organizing reality
to fit into your little mind,
let reality organize itself
and then fit your little mind into *it*.”

“You see, all of reality is a big pattern —
a set of connections between smaller pieces of stuff,
and those smaller pieces are patterns of smaller stuff still.
You’re made of organs,
organs are made of cells,
cells are made of molecules,
molecules are made of atoms,
atoms are made of particulate matter,
ad infinitum.

Surprsingly enough, the matter doesn’t *matter*.

It’s the pattern,
the connections,
the “software,” so to speak,
that makes you you and not somebody else
or a cell in your body a kidney cell
and not a bone cell.
Connections are the only reality.
Without being connected, you don’t exist!”

“In fact, if I went away, everything would just collapse
into a little pile of quantum pixie dust.”

“What’s cool is that
I wove the instructions for everything
into the very fabric of everything.
My love, my truth, and my word exist
at all levels from the subatomic to the macrocosmic.
Your mind, my mind, and the mind of a flower
differ only in scale, not in kind.
I made you, and everything else, to be perfect!”

“Go ahead and study me if that helps you.
But all you have to do is be yourself
When you brush your teeth, or go to pee, or change your oil,
simply brush your teeth, pee, and change your oil
as I created you to do.
And do it without being so puffed up with vanity,
or confused by excessive desires,
and without being so obsessed with your little boxes.”

“That is the truest way to
love me
with your whole heart,
your whole mind,
and your whole soul.”

“Just be yourself and
let the me in you come out.
I know it’s harder than it sounds.
But I’m here for you.
Just call me.
You know the drill.”

Then she was gone. Silence.
So, I blew out the candle,
made some coffee,
and thought about changing my oil.

Filed under: Life — cody @ 4:55 am

I can never tell what’ll go over at a poetry reading. I jotted this list off in twenty minutes last week when I was feeling overwhelmed and it was the crowd favorite last Wednesday at Diedrich’s. Go figure.

way too many
————

bad TV shows
boy bands that blow
cheeky pop star hos
names I hafta know
places I gotta go
people who won’t grow
people who don’t think
dishes in my sink
factories that stink
up the air we breathe

mud
creeping crud
floods
Bloods
Crips
guilt trips
baked potato chips
fat free dips
greasy foods
bad moods
stoner dudes
trophy wives
wasted lives
kids who can’t read

non-voters
drunken boaters
mad dictators
gum masticators
master debaters
ego inflaters
poseurs
hosers
sore losers
picky choosers
child abusers
pill poppers
dirty coppers
foul-mouthed hip-hoppers
black helicopters
spying for the government

half-empty glasses
lonely lasses
smartasses
smelly gases
Harlequin Romances
silly line dances
boob tube trances
couch potatoes
rotten tomatoes
in the bottom of my refrigerator

plastics in landfills
spastics on Paxil
drinks with no refill
charges on my phone bill
people who are always right
tough guys who wanna fight
folks who can’t forgive
who can’t live and let live
Scrooges who will not give
a damn for anyone else

people who are poor
salesmen at my door
dog hair on my floor
nations still at war
conspiracy theories
miniseries
SUV’s
infidelities
reality TV
people who lack civility
and expect everything for free

The librarians were receptive. i don’t feel like I did as good of a job of speaking as I could have, but they clapped in the right places, so I guess it went okay.

Wednesday, June 6, 2001

Filed under: Life — cody @ 10:37 am

Next Tuesday I’m speaking to a bunch of librarians about environmental scanning. I know enough about environmental scanning to talk on my subject, but i don’t know squat about librarian stuff so I don’t know whether my material is old hat or too basic for them. I guess I’ll just trust the lady who recruited us for the conference.

What’s cool is that I have my own corporate sponsor who’s, like, paying my way and stuff. Cool. I’ve never been “brought to you by” anyone but myself.

Filed under: Life — cody @ 9:36 am

This Guy helped me get my Futures degree. He sponsored me for my final internship/project.

His project is to get the Christian Church to accept a more forward-thinking and non-destructive eschatology (end-times belief). Rotsa ruck, I say, but it is a worthy and noble cause.

This next week is Transmillenial 2001, a convention for those who are trying to promote this brand of eschatology. Giving shout-outs to Jay and Tim and all those guys who want to bring the Church into the forward-thinking mode.

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